I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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