This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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