C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
