What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
