I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
