U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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