Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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