idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
