Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
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