i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
