Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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