You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
