; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
