i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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