I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
