his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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