I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
