I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
