Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Randomize
