You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
