I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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