matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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