if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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