You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
My liver is preforming stress tests.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
