oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
