Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
