I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
