Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
