You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
