it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Houston, we have a squirter
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
