You work out of a Hotel?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
