thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
