I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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