i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You are the jesus of drinking
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
