What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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