READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
