I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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