Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
