before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
