I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
