...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
If that was your dad, he is hot
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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