um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
