Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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