I can tuck mytits in my pants
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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