hell yes lets make some ravioli
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
