I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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