don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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