need another drink. this is the easiest way
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
