I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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