i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Randomize
