god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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