And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
