I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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