He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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